off topic: i'm not perfect.

i'm really not sure what has compelled me to write this post, but i'm just gonna go for it.  i've gotten away from the actual "journaling" aspect of a blog and so this is going to be a non-oil, no pictures and zero recipe-related post.  it's just words from my heart.

there have been more than a few times that people have commented on my facebook posts or messaged me and casually said something like, "you make parenting look so easy!" or "you're such a great wife!" and let me tell you, those comments are great to hear and make me feel amazing, but i also can't help but feel that i'm somewhat lying about the image i put off. 

sometimes life is hard.  sometimes i wake up and don't want to be awake (at least not for a few more hours).  sometimes i snap at my kids.  sometimes i say things to my husband that i regret later.  sometimes i make unhealthy, microwaveable food for my family.  sometimes my anxiety gets the best of me.  sometimes i use the tv as a babysitter for an hour.  sometimes i forget to do something someone asked me.  sometimes i stay in my pajamas all day (coughcoughTODAYcoughcough).  sometimes i'm just not a good mom and wife. 

but you know what? that's ok.  because guess what, i know that you're not perfect either.  i struggle daily with feelings of guilt when it comes to:
-the cleanliness of my home
-how much learning time and quality interactions i have with my kids
-the amount of meals i spend time making that cover all the food groups each week
-trying to have a servant mentality when it comes to my marriage
-how much time i spend in my relationship with god
-how to continually grow and succeed in my home business (without putting too much time into and therefore neglecting my other responsibilities)
-exercise and the quality of my own personal health
-and a million other things

there's no deep meaning behind this post. there wasn't some big event that caused an epiphany.  i'm just being real and "relate-able".  so the next time you look at my facebook posts and pictures, feel free to call me out for making it look like i'm trying to act like things are always perfect, because they aren't. 

i do want to end by saying that i am happy.  i am so extremely blessed with the things i have.  i actually am so thankful for those things that sometimes i feel undeserving.  my husband is the most patient, loving, selfless man i know and it baffles my mind that i was lucky enough to snatch him.  and my kids? well gosh just look at the pictures.  they are insanely cute and really are good kids.  but regardless of all that, we all have tough days and personality quirks that we don't like.  i'm trying to learn how to be comfortable in my own skin while also changing things i don't like about myself.  i hope you can find that desire too.

xoxo